The 31 funniest South Park jokes and quotes It's her first day, so apparently she's going to give a speech in the back room and hand jobs out in the office. I like to ring them up, and play the sound of running water down the phone., Ive had my run-ins with booze; its well documented. Dear Moses, Just to let you know the jet ski is now in stock. These days, we only really know Colin for his work at the piano, but as a young lad he cut his teeth on the harmonica until his teacher explained that he wasn't supposed to chew it. It preserves the soul from desiccation. No radio show has aided that cause greater than Im Sorry I Havent A Clue, the much-loved panel show that Lyttelton (right) chaired until his death four years ago. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue : A Second Treasury, CD/Spoken Word - eBay Yours etcetera, Dear Leonardo da Vinci, Scrub the sitting Ive got to go to the dentist. So that's answered your next question. . Apparently, he's a vacuum cleaner salesman, and he's managed to get her the latest model. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: Too smutty for Radio 4? - The Telegraph That Lyttelton did another 43 runs of a show marking five decades on air is due, Garden believes, to a change to its initial, completely improvised, approach which was a bit too casual. Another bumper collection of classic fun and games from the award-winning BBC Radio 4 comedy show. Well loved celebrities include Alan Bennett and Barry Cryer. Yes, Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into. 87 ratings5 reviews I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is the most listened to comedy programme on British radio. Just imagine, it's a sunny Monday night in December in lovely Brighton, the cast of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue are singing one song out of tune to another, while Colin Sell has a disagreement with a grand piano. List of Games On I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - LiquiSearch But I think there was also a sense that, as Humph was saying this stuff, it couldnt possibly be as rude as it sounded because he was so respectable.. Also, Samantha was usually the instigator of these alleged events she was never taken advantage of and also, finally, she didnt exist. The matter was eventually settled by alternating her duties with Sven, an equally libidinous male. Fortunately, this changed over the years, with the introduction of regular female guests including Victoria Wood (who had been identified as a future mainstay before she died at 62). Barry Cryer Dies: 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' Stalwart & Prolific Writer For Brit Comedians Was 86. I think the Clue boys were quite pleased to have fresh people in Jan Ravens. Hosted by Humphrey Lyttelton, and originally played by Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Willie Rushton, a range of guests have performed on the programme's panel since it began. How to use Google Chromecast in Spain. Graeme Garden, Humphrey Lyttelton, Barry Cryer and Tim Brooke-Taylor in 2001. Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis, North Wales, Dear David Dickinson, I can sum up why the BBC have your programme on TV every night in three words: Cheap As Chips. Introduced as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. Wordplay and innuendo are a large part of the show's humour. For info . ", "Samantha nearly made it - she's been detained at the last minute in the city's Latin quarter. Tweet us @TeleTweetures with your thoughts. But, at 12.52 on a Thursday afternoon, a Radio 4 punchline landed the most taboo word in broadcasting using Clues signature trick of blue-chip filth where the rudeness isnt visible on the script, but is made audible in the delivery. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down Im Sorry I Havent a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades. Jack Dee chairs the 76th series of the show. You can imagine how things were livened up in that turkey abbatoir. In fact, we heard from him earlier, singing 'You put your left leg in, You put your right leg in', and then realised he was reading from the instructions that came with his trousers. I'm Sorry I Haven't a ClueThe Complete Lionel Blair (1993-2007) Mark Campbell 1.45K subscribers Subscribe 212K views 4 years ago A compilation of every single Lionel Blair joke (as. Chairman Humphrey Lyttelton ensuring that disorder prevails. Accusations of homophobia resulted from a running gag, straddling two centuries, about Lionel Blair, dancer and team captain of ITVs charades-based game show Give Us a Clue. I then begin to type, inspired by the thought of how the hell I'm going to pay the mortgage. Best Smart DNS for Spain. Clue (I'm Sorry I Haven't A) Digital Spy 'Risky, rude, brilliantly written and superbly performed' The Judges, Sony Radio Academy Award This second treasury contains over 30 hilarious editions of the awar d-winning 'antidote to panel games', first published as I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Volumes 1 0 to 15, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue . ", "Dear Mrs McCartney: My, what a terrible mess. a lamppost, Et tu. It reads: "When I heard Colin Sell playing the mouth organ, I rushed in just in time to catch his set. Jeremy Hardy's best jokes: From Brexit to right wing hypocrisy Caberet - wide range of taxis for hire. The main difference was that, as a panel game, they didn't need to write any . Im Sorry I Havent a Clue is greatest radio comedy, says panel, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. Apparently, they've been working on the restoration of an old chest of drawers. Deadpan comedian Jack . Panel Game (according to the introduction, "the antidote to panel games") broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and the "classic radio" station BBC 7. 70. Just off to work now dear. In this game, the teams imagine what effect certain letters might have had on history, had they not gone missing: Dear Dr Guillotine, We shall be pleased to grant a licence for your automated haircutting device just as soon as youve addressed one or two safety issues weve identified. "Dear Rolf, Here's a handy hint: When you put the cat out, always use a high-quality fire extinguisher.". Approaching what would have been his 87th birthday, he told an audience in Eastbourne: "It makes a nice change to be one of the youngest people in the room.". Best father of the bride jokes for a wedding speech to remember Which is why I havent., The other night, this salesman phoned up and started banging on and on about buying car insurance. To claim that Humph didn't know what he was doing on Clue is, of course, complete nonsense. Another bumper collection of classic fun and games from one of BBC Radio 4's best-loved and most enduring comedy panel games. Thanks for that nugget . RIP Tim. Yes. But one practice still makes it a bit of a wall of death. ", "Samantha was telling us before the show she's been visiting a nice gentleman racehorse owner in his stables recently. They continue until the Chairman blows his horn. 45 of Ricky Gervais funniest jokes 30 of Stephen Frys funniest jokes and quotes As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, . The programme was first aired on April 11th1972 and the signature tune Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-taylor, Jack Dee Et Al, As the Honourable Member is perfectly aware, I have nothing to hide, Censors were appalled by Carry On films and wanted to give many X rated certificates, new files reveal, What Sean Connery will do if he doesnt get to church on Sunday, Australian for a Englishman made of stone, Cross between a screw top and a ring pull, How they describe a decade in the West Country, A boat makers first attempt at a coracle, A person who turns into a house at the Full Moon, A setting on Jonathan Rosss washing machine. Now aged 103, Mr. Hinkler celebrated by repeating the event in October this yearand beat the train by seven and a half hours. When Humphrey Lyttelton was alive, and I'd meet fans of Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and they discovered I wrote his scripts, the conversation would invariably go something like this: "It must be such a joy to work with Humph. Indeed, he often said he wanted to drive between gigs in a tradesman's van with "Humphrey Lyttelton: Purveyor of Blue-Chip Filth" written on its sides. They put a uniform on, for a job like that, can you imagine doing that? Not Humph. Do hope you havent embarked on another career. Dear Arch Druid of Wiltshire, You are hereby advised that planning permission has been denied for the erection of a large henge of stone. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: The Best of Forty Years - Goodreads I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is the most listened to comedy programme on British radio.It regularly attracts an audience of 2.5 million listeners on Radio 4, a figure that would put it comfortably into the top ten programmes on BBC2 or Channel 4. Humphrey Lyttelton: Today, everything on TV is celebrity-driven, of Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 | Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 Pls - Facebook I'm Sorry I Haven't a ClueThe Complete Lionel Blair (1993-2007) Sell, on his living-room piano, could hear the panellists but, due to the time delay, they were singing half a bar behind. I don't think I was meant to read that bit." In what way is it a farm? ", "Dear Rolf: They say a dog isn't just for Christmas. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue The self-styled antidote to panel games. So me and Harry Hill wrote signs saying: Barry! and held them up. One of the best to date. 41 of Stewart Francis most ingenious jokes and one-liners Childhood - young gangster. Oh no, hang on, that's Facebook. . Then he pointed up to the circle and said: "I was only joking. I said were gonna invade Tie Rack. Which we thought was incredibly unfair, as no one else had ever complained. Missed ISIHAC on Monday so I only got to hear the latest Lionel Blair joke at lunchtime. It's not every duck that becomes President. P.S. Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids Humph redefined the role of the comedy panel game chairman. I think the Clue boys were quite pleased to have fresh people in.. In fact, I have a cutting here from Jazz Monthly magazine, written by their top reviewer. "I Will Survive" to the tune of "Over the Rainbow" (Tim Brooke-Taylor) 32. He said she was delighted to see his little firm won. Following reports that BBC Radio 4 considered toning down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue because of complaints over the smutty jokes, here are some of the show's dirty innuendos from four years of broadcasting. 30 of Jack Whitehalls funniest jokes 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes During his silent, solitary pre-show read-through in a dingy corner of the theatre, I would occasionally spot him scribbling notes when he discovered a typo or a grammatical error. Perhaps encouraging complaints about schoolboy humour was the fact that despite the early inclusion of Jo Kendall the stand-out panellists were for a long time blokes. The sound isn't terribly good. (Humphrey Lyttleton's final joke on the show, recorded shortly before his death in April 2008), "You'll be accompanied by Colin Sell on the piano. to the best of my recollection. Hosted by Humphrey Lyttelton, and originally played by Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Willie Rushton, a range of guests have performed on the programme's panel since it began. Started by Jemble Fred, May 26, 2005, 02:52:40 PM. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades With Jeremy, the reason he was so bad was that he had never sung in public. The chair seems equally desperate to be elsewhere, although he is now Jack Dee. ", "Colin Sell is at the piano, and with exciting career news - he tells me that he's recently started to work with pop sensation Bjork, so now he's making regular trips to Iceland or if they're shut, he goes to Bejams. Actually, listeners will be impressed to learn that back in the 60's, Colin asked Mick Jagger and Keith Richard if he could take the place of Brian Jones. Or they can climb up to the top of the mighty tower of the Shell Centre to enjoy a panoramic vista right across half of London. Jul 27, 2018 - A compilation of every single Lionel Blair joke (as well as a few with Una Stubbs and Christopher Biggins) from the BBC Radio 4 panel game "I'm Sorry I Haven. 50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners He was making notes to remind himself to point them out.
", "Dear Dr. Clare, So pleased to hear that Tim Brooke-Taylor is back - without him the show was like Hamlet without the balcony scene.". ", "Actually, we're all very excited for Colin, as he's been invited to play at a U-2 gigwhat great reunion dances those German submarine crews have. ", "Nottingham is also famous for its links with football, and Notts County is proud to be the oldest team in the English leaguebut they hope soon to buy some younger players. New voices Pippa Evans is now a regular on the show. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Incidentally, we've just heard some great news - I'm very pleased to announce that the BBC have arranged a special collection of Colin's entire work they've bagged it up, & the council are sending some men round for it on Tuesday. ", "Samantha has to nip out now as she has a new gentleman friend. BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't Clue scorer Samantha rarely stays until the end of the show. But we wouldnt get the repeat fees., 50 Years Without a Clue is on Radio 4 and BBC Sounds on 16 April at 8p. Such was the transformation from the words I'd cobbled up into the masterful performance provided by this octogenarian, Old Etonian trumpet-player, I could collapse with laughter along with the rest of the audience, as if I'd never heard my own words before. Eventually, the nuns of Beverley convent rose in revolt, and laid seige to Hull. Love your butter., 38 of the funniest cat jokes and memes When I am asked how a comedy writer is inspired to write new jokes every week, there is a pat answer: I get up and sit down at my computer with a cup of strong coffee. Condition: Very Good Very Good. To calm things down, she had to keep them apart all morning." We think your paintings are extremely promising. 17 of Ken Dodds most ingeniously funny jokes There's also Barrow-in-Furness which involves burning garden implements, Sellafield, where the object is to try to flog off a plot of contaminated land, and of course we musn't forget Broadstairs, a game for people who are too fat to use the lift. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: The Best of Forty Years - Goodreads ", "Musical accompaniment will be provided in this round at the piano by Colin Sell. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - 50 And Not Out - British Comedy Guide 100 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive season one-liners P.S. ", "I am assured that piano accompaniment is required for this round, and it appears that Colin Sell is unexpectedly available to provide it. They're going on a driving tour of Wales. Radio 4 broadcasters are discouraged from saying even the C-word, in case child listeners ask adults to spell the word out. Actually, we were interested to hear that Colin has recently been enjoying himself in the brass section. Before Chairman Humph, panel games had been chaired by nice chaps (and they invariably were chaps) who hoped we'd all enjoy the show as much they were going to enjoy delighting each other with their wit and wisdom. This page is not available in other languages. "Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. I'm Sorry, I [Still] Haven't a Clue - The Guardian Clue (I'm Sorry I Haven't A) - Page 3 Digital Spy "Sorry I Haven't A Clue" Introduction Transcripts "Samantha has been working down in the gramophone library today, where the archivists have been engaged in a heated argument about who sits at which desk to get the best view of Samantha's shapely legs. Dear I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Mailing List Member. Suddenly, we had all these people people listening over the shows, says Naismith. Sun 19 Oct 2008 19.01 EDT. 35 of Blackadders most cunning quips and insults Billed as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians being given "silly things to do" by a chairman. Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedian's funniest jokes and quotes ", "During Tudor times, Hull's customs levies on Humber shipping resulted in a feud with neighbouring Beverley. ", "Actually, Colin was telling us that he recently started on backing material with his new singer so if anyone needs some curtains run up", "Actually, listeners may be interested to hear that Colin doesn't only play the piano oh no. One of the first women to, as the show might put it, hold her own was Jan Ravens. Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand broadcast an offensive phone call to the actor Andrew Sachs. ", "Despite this only three expressions of Scottish derivation are in regular use: kilt, haggis, and Partick Thistle nil. While she's very keen on his kidneys in red wine and his oxtail in beer, Samantha says it's difficult to beat his famous tongue in cider." It consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. All episodes of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. Can you tell me where the expression 'Dull as Ditch Water' comes from? This is the game where the team are presented with the first half of memorable quotations to finish off: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. ", "This musical lament will be accompanied by Colin Selland music doesn't come more lamentable than that. She says he's looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van. In fact, they no longer were my words. To Michelangelo, His Holiness wants the ceiling plain magnolia emulsion. 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners Many featured the escapades of the show's fictional scorer, the lovely Samantha. ", "It's well documented in official records that the City's original name was 'Snottingham', or 'Home of Snots', but when the Normans came, they couldn't pronounce the letter 'S', so decreed the town be called 'Nottingham' or the 'Home of Notts'. 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke 21 of Rhod Gilberts funniest jokes and one-liners They said yes, and threw him in the swimming pool. The Official website of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue or 'Clue' with Jack Lyttelton's Britain: A User's Guide to the British Isles As Heard On BBC Radio's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, by Iain Pattinson, is published by Preface. mw963 Posts: 2,844. . He became quite frail towards the end and it was obvious he was frustrated by his own body giving up on him. I have no clue what you guys are talking about half the time - Reddit To order a copy for 15.99 (incl p&p) call 0843 382 0000. After a set-piece game, he might say: "'If that dies on its arse, make them do another one.' Apparently he has this dream of handling The Spice Girls. He would delight in stopping, mid-performance, to announce that when he was supposed to say "genteel", for example, the script said "gentile".
Naismith recalls the regulars saying that they would carry on until Humph goes and, after Lytteltons death in 2008, the recording of series 51 was cancelled. Barry Cryer - I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue ", "The round is called Karaoke Cokey, and it'll be led by Colin Sell at the piano. Famed for his brand of fed-up, bone-dry humour, few comics have shown an ability, or willingness, to fume at the mundanity of modern-day life like the 57-year-old. Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedians funniest jokes and quotes So Id rehearse it one key and then, in the recording, put it up a bit higher to throw him.. It once made a blind man deaf. So listen up, rest of the world. In which the panel translate the true meaning of that ignoble professions favourite soundbites: As the Honourable Member is perfectly aware, I have nothing to hide You bastard, how did you find out? Introduced as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Complete Jokes - YouTube Biggins said that Lionel's Rod was outstanding but he easily had it licked", "The next round is called 'Cheddar Gorge' and it's just one of many parlour games inspired by English place names. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration. The manageress at Dorothy Perkin's says if she catches him in there again, she'll call the police. Extracted from Im Sorry I Havent A Clue: The Best Of Forty Years by Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Jack Dee et al, to be published by Preface on October 4 at 20. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Complete JokesHosted by Humphrey Lyttelton and featuring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Jeremy Hardy.ISIHAClu. 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland, 29 best Gavin and Stacey quotes and funniest jokes from James Corden and Ruth Jones comedy Enforced Holiday. ", "Well, it's time to meet the teams and I can honestly say you couldn't ask for four better comedians. ", "Backing will be provided, as ever, by Colin Sell at the piano. Sincerely, Specsavers, The High Street, Hastings. But there was a later communication that his wife and family were upset and would the BBC calm us down a bit. The inspiration was always there to do something more quirky, more daring, more stupid and, occasionally, even more outrageously knob-gag-laden. Edit: I feel like a lot of people still aren't getting that this is a "power to Control Sea" joke :) I read in some mythology that Medusa, King Midas, and Oedipus all raised a child together. Aren't they a bunch of bastards, all that finger up the. That's not to say he wasn't the complete professional, but he didn't need to prove anything. ", "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, a man who doesn't know the meaning of "disharmony". It says on my thing here, you all keep going until it stops being funny. A Mrs Trellis of North Wales has written in to complain that the show has 'an enormous fistful of rampant innuendo rammed into every crack', but only a truly filthy-minded person would think such a thing. Samantha has to nip off now as she's selling her seaside apartment. ", "Oh wait a minute, I've goofed. She's going to meet him at the monkey house, where he's often found swinging about with his charges. Im just suprised I haven't seen a chopper with the Diamond Dogs or MSF logos on them. His attitude was that the writing of the script wasn't his job. BBC Radio 4 - I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue ", "What happens in Manchester today happens in the rest of the world tomorrow. The rule was that the joke was always clean on the page, with the laughter coming solely from the mis-hearing - literally, in the double entendre. Iain Pattinson the man who wrote the gags for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, recalls his razor-sharp wit, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. . I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (Radio) - TV Tropes From the moment Humph took the two small envelopes containing the scripts printed on postcards, the words became his. ", "While Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris", Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. The client was so impressed, he threw in a mivvi and a choc ice as well. ", "Lewis Carroll started his journeys to China from Sunderland. Is there a farm shop?, My locals rough as anything. Incidentally, we were all surprised to hear that Colin has recently been standing in for Oasis. ISIHAC TOUR Stars In Their Ears Clue regulars Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Jeremy Hardy and esteemed Chairman Humphrey Lyttelton play agame called Stars In Their Ears on the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue 'best of' theatre tour. During the pandemic lockdowns, Clue was included in an emergency list of shows chosen by the then director general, Tony Hall, to cheer people up. "Psycho Killer" to the tune of "Save Your Love" (Linda Smith) 34. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is a BBC radio comedy panel game. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. P.S. In 15 years, we never had a script meeting, nor even a quick discussion about a single word he was going to read. Samantha stories from Humphrey Lyttleton, V8 Register, MG Car Club Will Somebody Shut Those Bloody Lambs Up? 12/04/20 - 13:16 #53. Sandi, Barry, Miles and Richard make up silly letters On. And then the Anthony Worrell-Thompson sausages. ", "Samantha tells me she has to nip out to help an old man next door who has trouble using his stairlift. He spent 4 days holding up a dried arrangement at the Chelsea Flower Show. 27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes Clued up Im Sorry I Havent a Clue historic innuendo star Stephen Fry, chair Jack Dee and late-lamented regular Victoria Wood. "Dear Mr. Duggleby, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why does my typewriter always stick on the letter 'Y'? Although Blair was heterosexual, his camp manner and balletic skills seeded a game of radio mime in which the punchlines alluded to gay sex. I found it very frustrating. . As to his not being a comedian: that is also untrue. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head. Born in 1972, it was something of a continuation of the Sketch Show I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again (which was also the origin of Monty Python's Flying Circus and The Goodies). Sorry I Haven't A Clue is a pun- and wordplay-filled radio program on BBC Radio 4. After the success of our 'not for broadcast' Theatre Tours in 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 (all sell-outs), we're returning with a special fundraising edition of the show for the charity ENRYCH, whose stated aim is to enrich the lives of disabled adults. White Sox Sign Clint Frazier, Bryan Shaw To Minor League Deals Barry was Old School; in his stand up act he told jokes. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Quotes, Series 36 - 39 - ivorysky
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