All sense. The conference was sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Hero. And thats not me. The consultant basically said I could pop my clogs at any moment. I didnt tell her parents the truth. Because the fact is we just met yesterday. They say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I definitely caved in to the peer pressure. I see jonquils ! I had to do this as Minnie Fay in my school's production last year. So many you should go change, and then we can be in love at another time. Theres pee freckles on the ceiling!! Here is The Complete PDF Library Book by MICHAEL STEWART Music and Lyrics by JERRY HERMAN Based on the play THE MATCHMAKER by Thornton Wilder Original Production Directed and Choreographed by Gower Champion Produced for the Broadway Stage by David Merrick and Champion-Five, Inc. TAMS-WITMARK MUSIC LIBRARY, INC. I see the tube of diaphragm jelly lying next to the sink. We all work together to contribute useful articles and resources for actors at all stages in their careers. Well Im sorry, Ive loved a few people a lot, but no-ones ever stepped out of the shadows and handed me a crystal ball. I didnt come here for help. It made some sort of cosmic sense. Really Dolly. Over the wretched? Like, if I blew her off to hang out with Kyle she would be like, Why didnt you call me back! It was the fault of the psychiatrist. But, mistress, know yourself: down on your knees, He discovers that I was this really fascinating woman all along. I love you Kate. I wanna thank all of you for a terrific summer. Its a rite of passage as sacred as getting your drivers license or buying your first bra. Hello, Dolly! (Musical) Plot & Characters | StageAgent I mean, what is that?! I lost 75 pounds! Father I wanted to be. If Id known Naomi felt like that I wouldve broken it off with her months ago. She had five cats. Irene Molloy: What's this? Audition Sides: Dolly DOLLY Ephraim, let me go! . Thats the thing. Gorgeous, fresh-faced, heels, wearing a skirt, new top, little bit sexy, on my way to save my caf and yes, I am strutting. Because a "monologue" - or lengthy piece of script that doesn't include anyone else speaking, allows the actor auditioning to perform without the need for a reader. I've only seen him once in my life! It doesnt matter. Create your account. Im crazy. It's a little lumpy, but it rings! This was not easy going up and down the halls with. StageMilk / Monologues For Actors / Comedy Monologues. It means, Kayleigh, no more fun. Look, I just need to set the record straight and what better way to broadcast my thoughts then here, on the internet. Louis Armstrong's recording was a huge, critically important piece. What are you ashamed that we did it? New York, NY, Escape To Margaritaville So she tells me then that I might have what they call an undescended testes, meanin that one dropped, but the other didntshe said Id have to get it checked out, cos if there was one still up there it would have to be removed because, guess what it could become cancerous. Yeah, its whatever, but this once, in the grocery store, were at Albertsons and were pushing four baskets around you wanna know how humiliating that shit is? Im with you now, but Im thinking about him, and thats not fair to either of us. Jeffrey: For instance, okay, junior year I dated this girl, Sue Hornick. And the pretension! ? And I would be, like, Why are you so obsessed with me? So then my birthday was an all-girls pool party and I was like, I cant invite you, Janis, because I think youre a lesbian. Thats how it is with women. She looked at it, and then she looked at him. This crush its like a disease. But you know what? Course it was a woman doctor. With music written by Jerry Herman, and Michael Stewart writing the book, 'Hello, Dolly!' was first performed on Broadway in 1964. Stop! I know its a lot to swallow, but you gotta take it on face value, because theres a timer attached to this thing and its counting down. Join StageAgent today and unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. : " I Shall Go Mad! Youre a very attractive girl. You seem like a real sweet girl and I, just, I dont want you to get hurt. Dolly Levi: As my late husband, Ephraim Levi, used to say, 'If you have to live from hand-to-mouth, you'd better be ambidextrous.'. No, Mr. Brents not hereHe lives here, yes, but he dont live here now because he lives in Spain Mr. Philip Brent, thats right. Ill teach you to be me and you teach me to be you. She took a giant shit on my face. Gillian: Prom is short for Promenade, a slow, gentle walk through a shady glen, and this beloved ceremony symbolizes our journey from the shadows of adolescence to the bright sunshine of the adult world with all its freedoms. Flowers, notes, guinea-pig memorabilia were left outside in her memory. Its me. Even so, it was, you know, embarrassin and the mad thing is the room was upstairs with the curtains open and didnt the 19A fly past and the whole top deck nearly broke their necks for a gander. And thank God we didnt have any children. I spent my money on magazines and electronics fashion mostly. Harrys a bit fat. I pulled myself up, I studied hard, I read every book in the library and now I work for the government and have the highest possible security clearance. I always just assumed I had two. lovely! You are a thousand times a properer man Every evening for all these years I've put out the cat, I've locked the door, I've made myself a little rum toddy, and before I went to bed I said a prayer, thanking God that I was independent, that no one else's life was mixed up with mine. He was a political prisoner in Argentina. Or I might go to church. His name for me. Monologue from Hello, Dolly!-Cornelius Hackl - YouTube 0:00 / 1:58 Monologue from Hello, Dolly!-Cornelius Hackl Singing Rome 42 subscribers Subscribe 11 Share 1.1K views 7 years ago Show more. Apart from inside a box. As Dolly sets her mission into motion over the course of one momentous day, love, hope and optimism blooms among those fortunate to be in her meddlesome path. People come that like, didnt R.S.V.P.! Horace: I'm going to march in the 14th street parade with the only kind of people I can trust, 700 men. Nor do I, really Its silly to be depressed by it. What does a girl have to do these days? Ever. was an important and frequently covered piece. She accidentally killed herself. New York, NY, Escape To Margaritaville Hello Dolly! Script - transcript from the screenplay and/or Barbara But how was I to know? Its totally weird, like, taking all your clothes off and having sex with someone you barely know, and then being like Whats up now? You know? AND THEN OF COURSE I STARTED GOING FUCKING STIR-FUCKING-CRAZY THINKING OF ALL THE THINGS I COULD HAVE SAID. StageMilk Team is made up of professional actors and writers from around the world. Mother said, Honey, theres no more room for jonquils. And still I kept on bringing in more jonquils. In fact, we have to trust the playwright or screenwriter and just fully commit to the situation. Audition Songs for Hello, Dolly! - By Character | Theatre Trip Acting Monologues - Backstage Ugh! No one at Westerburgs going to let you play their reindeer games. Shes so pathetic. No waist or hips. He clears his throat, brings his hand to his mouth and coughs: Walk of shame. After I base my entire concept of self-esteem on the fact that youre willing to marry me! HELLO DOLLY MONOLOGUE Leesburg Blues Brothers Tribute 100 subscribers Subscribe 2.5K views 10 years ago Cliff here reciting the Cornelius Hackle courtroom monologue from the staged musical. I get paid in puke! Ive been trying to rationalize them away, pressure from the wedding, the intimacy of working together, but I cant. I know we just met like 3 minutes ago but youre probably looking for someone to get serious with, someone with potential someone who will take you out to eat a few times, see a movie, fool around a little bit, next thing you know were getting a dog and youre moving in. My ego had taken a severe battering from her. Judy Rude. Maybe you feel for me the way you feel for a good friend, or if the world f hates me a brother. Im not the kind of guy who spends hundreds on a last minute flight, back to New York, tears across town, then run up six flights of stairs and knocks on my best friends girlfriends door in order to run off and elope with her I mean, where the hell did that come from? I mean, who the hell does this guy or that guy think he is to give me such compliments? See how I sashayed around the ballroom, Laura? That was the spring I had the craze for jonquils. But doth not the appetite alter? Lysander if you live, good sir, awake, Rosalind: Act 3, Scene 5 Then her mom called my mom and was, like, yelling at her. Jerry Herman's energetic Hello, Dolly! Nice shoes faggot you got mousse in your hair lets put mousse in his anus! Id be flipping through MAD magazine and just put the thing down and take it. The musician. New York, NY, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020. Carter: Acting Monologues. met your father ! Irene Molloy: If you ask me, she'd do better with a heavy veil. Just dont come any closer. (to Kayleigh.) Is he crazy? Listen to Jerry Herman's score, and dance around the living room when a sequined Streisand arrives in a club as Louis Armstrong strikes up the title tune for her benefit. It was a separate arrangement. I figured Id wait a couple of hours till the cats were dead and mum was feeling a bit sorry for herself and Id knock on the front door and say to her Hi, mum, Ive come to talk about our unresolved conflicts but, oh, no, one of those cats ran into the house. Poor Martin. Invitations poured in parties all over the Delta! For I must tell you friendly in your ear, Its always tricky finding a great comedy monologue as lets be honest, most comedy monologues arent exactly standup routines. Left the shop. Christ almighty, try working for you for a living! I thought that was the deal. Hello, Dolly!: Synopsis, Characters & Monologues | Study.com Than any of her lineaments can show her. Because I always swear. I just fuckin killed Chuck. --Rochelle O'Gorman, https://www.quotes.net/movies/hello,_dolly!_5140, https://www.quotes.net/movies/hello,_dolly!_quotes_5140. Research Playwrights, Librettists, Composers and Lyricists. Look, mate, I dont know whats happening I just arrived, right? Which means he did. Thats all. Here's what you need to know about Cornelius: he's an incredibly innocent man, he's never been kissed, and he's full of, well, wonder. James: A pretty girl at a party once asked me if I secretly liked that Harry had a paunch, because it made him less attractive to other women. We don't currently have any monologues from Hello, Dolly!. Theyd be miserable. HELLO DOLLY! - Marriott Theatre Auditions - BroadwayWorld The New York Daily News wrote: 'I wouldn't say that Jerry Herman's score is memorable.' (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Our 9x sold out online acting course returns soon. Just this, like, one tear I see as were sitting at a stoplight on the way home. Anyway, I go off and a couple of weeks later I go back for the ultrasound. Nick: And teach me about art and life and magic and I thought you could make me feel like a beautiful woman instead of the girl nobody wanted. Dont repeat that. What monologue should I use for my Hello Dolly audition? I need - Quora Theyve showered me with leaflets. No vases to hold them? You say youre sorry? But I just-I just wish women would say what they mean. How many times have I heard that? But I also definitely said as little as possible and was totally respectful of you in the way I talked about you. Look Some of the best minds in our country peeing all over the floor in this here facility. And then I almost threw up, because that lady who smells of egg went by, and also because what if, what if wed stayed together, what if hed asked me, and Id said yes in a moment of madness and let him do his thing, and wed done the normal stuff, and had the babies, would that be my life now? . Gonna really make an effort. Megan: Do you see where Im going with this? ), I wore it on Sundays for my gentlemen callers ! So take her to thee, shepherd. Regina George: Added to which: he was a very pale man, heavy-breather I did wonder briefly if he might actually be Death, come to get me. WHY WASNT I GOOD ENOUGH TO WANT TO IMPREGNATE? Happier? New York, NY, SM for Poor Yella Rednecks I used to walk ahead of her in the mall or, you know, not tell her stuff at school so there wouldnt be, whatever. --Rochelle O'Gorman Genre: Comedy, Musical, Romance Stars: Barbra Streisand, Walter Matthau, Michael Crawford, Marianne McAndrew Production: 20th Century Fox Won 3 Oscars. Learn more and register your interest at our online acting course page. We probably shouldve realized this earlier, but Ive been so happy being near you that I just sorta overlooked it and went on. Kim: And out of you she sees herself more proper So what if Im young and beautiful? Not here, not out on the town having such a good time. No, Im not in Spain, dear. Im all walking like Ive got a paintbrush up my arse, thinking: Sue was kind of prude. How to approach a comedy monologue: Is everything alright? No dear. - Definition, History & Artists, What Is the Tango? Martin couldnt stand unidentified smells. Who knew those would be the magic words? I can see that now. Yes folks, its true. I have, we have feelings for each other. I mean, youd never know you were in a box, would you? This is my friend. won Academy Awards for best sound, art direction, and musical score. Finally there were no more vases to hold them, every available space was filled with jonquils. Maybe Ill never walk down the aisle with a smug look of bridal triumph. Horace: All the facts about you are insults! To catch a beau I suppose. And if its to do with letting the house then youll have to ring the house-agents, because theyre the agents for the house. Hello, Dolly! She decided to walk into a busy cycle lane wanting to get tangled in a bike. By my troth, it is no addition to her wit nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her. Are you really gay? Not with salt tears: I must not seem proud; happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending. I dont do anything to give off any kind of interest whatsoever, I completely look the other way when I see eye contact happening and they STILL come over thinking theyre so suave and its simply repulsive. Here we fucking go, this better be good. Looking for a great comedic monologue? I dont know how this happened. You probably think Im some spoiled brat whos never had it hard cause I didnt have to walk a mile to school. plays nightly (excepts Sundays) at 7:30 PM through June 10, with additional matinees at 12:30 PM and 4 PM on Saturdays and at 4 PM on Mondays (starting May 8) and May 12 and 19, at Hale Centre Theatre (9900 South Monroe Street, Sandy). This is the real deal, honey and nothing you do is going to come between as. And in conclusion, may I remind you that it doesnt say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. "Hello, Dolly! Other important songs include: Put On Your Sunday Clothes, Ribbons Down My Back and Before the Parade Passes By. I dont believe in them. How came her eyes so bright? Just thinking he might look at me, my heart starts pounding like mad. Martins dead. How to pick a comedy monologue: I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea. Now you listen and listen good. I PUT MY HAND IN HERE. One day, I was reading some Shakespeare and realized I dont really love this person It was one of the sonnets. The story itself is based on the 1955 play The Matchmaker by. Gathered. based on one crazy, thoughtless, inexplicable romantic night. What Im sure of is this- we need to stop. Amen. Can I be a dad or not? Its the only crime where you have to be at the scene of it to make it a perfect crime, to give yourself satisfaction. So I thought about it and realised that I had to treat it like a boxing match, get the first punch in, so to speak, to give me the upper hand in our relationship. I wouldnt think about it, if I were you. Quotes." Who else recorded it? If you are reading a monologue below and feel excited to get up and have a play that is your monologue. Stay in bed, said mother, you have fever! but I just wouldnt. Web. Best Monologues for Auditions | Backstage I opened the caf with my friend Boo. Cause I couldnt hide from him. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. O, I am out of breath in this fond chase! PDF Hello Dolly Monologue Minnie Fay Pdf Download Well maybe. Determined to marry wealthy Walter Matthau, she lures him out of Yonkers and sets about wooing him. Men dont have strokes when theyre thirty eight years old. You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her, Required fields are marked *. Sign up today to unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. Sometimes you just want a fucking still life or landscape or soup can or comic book! And Im like, Whats the problem? and he says The problem is, dude, youre fucking my girlfriend. So I look at Marissa and Im like Youre someones girlfriend? And she says No. Then it comes out Chuck just wishes shes his girlfriend but actually shes his cousin or something, so hes got these feelings of guilt about wanting herand then he starts crying. Too many actors play up the comedy, trying to make a monologue funnier than it is. Like, totally. I love you madly. Who knew hed go flying right off the roof? And you dont expect that when you break up with someone do you? Is there oh any other time you might have told me this! I dont think so. No, theyre not in Spain, theyre next to the phone in the study. ), Hey you, whatsyername! Yknow, about authentic love. The composer. And, all right, I know the Americans go on with all this flag-waving, patriotic bullshit and think the rest of the world hates them, but fuck, Talbot, theyre right: the rest of the world does hate em I hate em, and I want to live here! - Definition, Origin & History, Woodstock: History, Facts, Performers & Bands, Jesus Christ Superstar: Summary & Characters, Electronic Music: History, Types & Artists, Art, Music, and Architecture Around the World, Introduction to Textiles & the Textile Industry, World Music & Art Lesson Plans & Activities, NES Music - WEST (504): Practice & Study Guide, Library Science 101: Information Literacy, Pope Gregory II: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory VII: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory VIII: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory XII: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory XIII: Accomplishments & Legacy, Pope Gregory XV: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory XVI: Biography & Accomplishments, Bishop Oscar Romero: Biography, Assassination & Quotes, Blessed James Alberione: Biography, Death & Quotes, Pope John XXIII: Biography, Facts & Quotes, Pope John XXIII: Canonization, Contributions & Miracles, Archbishop Aloysius Stepinac: Biography & Quotes, Working Scholars Bringing Tuition-Free College to the Community. Like, you know what Bleek? Take a look at our library of free monologues . The fact is, Ive been acting like a prick. Five of them, running around the backyard like mobile bonfires. We fight. Thank God my parents are dead, this would have killed em! At first, I couldnt think of any reasons. New York, NY, SM for Poor Yella Rednecks While I was institutionalized, my brain was studied exhaustively in the guise of mental health. I went in and there was Martin sitting bolt upright in his chair with his nostrils quivering and the most terrible look on his face. One of my favorites is from ""Hello Dolly!" l realize that it was Your divine hand that disqualified Tammy, and now Im asking that You go that one last mile and make sure to put me in office where I belong, so that I may carry out Your will on Earth as it is in Heaven. Hello Dolly Monologue Minnie Fay Book file PDF. Im nuts, you know, Im really crazy. (off Annies look) We can pull it off. Or how they view my choices and, yes, maybe that makes me not very deep, or petty, or some other word, hell, I dont know! She's a widower and meddling matchmaker. She closed the curtains after that. Some of us, however, love big, splashy, overdone musical scenes, of which there are many. In a couple of minutes the whole bloody house was alight and within half an hour there was no bloody front door to knock on. One night I rounded them up, put them in a cage, doused them with I wish I was joking, but Im not. Boom. I know every girl at school except Monica is in love with him. - Definition, Artists & History, What is Gospel Music? Sister Winnie: Hows he gonna love something that looks like that, get all sexy with her? She is a widow in her middle years, an opportunist and a meddling matchmaker. Ill tell you what happens. Every time I think Im over the hump, Ill have a dream or Ill see some girl who looks like her from the back. Pete: Of natures sale-work. I dont know who he is, but I do know this: At a time when I was trying to hide myself from myself, he was there to show me a new way. I asked her if he made her wash the bits he cant reach. Dolly Levi: Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. Unrequited passion, of course. And the phlegm just slid away. Just so I can ride on the same bus with him. Blubbering, whining, crying Chuck. Was I free? Minnie Fay's Monologue // Hello Dolly - YouTube Styles havent changed so terribly much after all. Youve met him. Only Hello, Dolly! But they wrote the most incredible, passionate letters every day, and they really made those two hours count. file Hello Dolly Monologue Minnie Fay Book Free Download PDF at Our eBook Library. You know, Ive been thinking a lot about why we shouldnt get married. And you will help me. Evenings, dances ! He drove a black Suzuki Vitara had five earrings and the word Fuck tattooed inside his lip. I highly recommend reading or watching some of the writers work to get the nuance of that writer: a Neil Simon monologue is very different to a Phoebe Waller-Bridge. That they wont be bettered. If you have been asked to prepare a comedy monologue, dont think that it has to be the funniest two minutes of your life. I thought of him searching through the fridge and not finding a morsel. You could lie there thinking well, at least Im not dead! You know-plainly, clearly state what they want instead of expecting you to be psychic. Cos I mean, if I thought the rest of my life would be spent as a mindless cog in a machine, I swear Id just get a tattoo across my face that says: Really man? Just need to figure out a way of growing up without becoming a boring adult. Its weird to say this, because in many ways Im already in so deep. Possess your soul in patience you will see! Doug: Id been seeing him because of my Pyromania thats a person who likes lighting fires-but you probably know that being University educated. Its "Hello, Dolly! I lost 75 pounds. Max: Like is there a way of findin out whether Im fertile or not? So he tells me theres a sperm analysis test that I can do if I really want to. Upgraded. Then, in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but he moved to Indiana, and Janis was, like weirdly jealous of him. She doesnt say a word about it. It's the things that come gift wrapped that count! Minnie Fay: Who ever heard of a doctor slipping on an apple peel? Maybe one night Im at a party, a bar, whatever, and I met a girl, and right off we know its a mutual attraction situation, and we have a little chat and a drink maybe, and next thing you know were in a cab, and theres a physical thing thats happening, and were chewing each others faces and trying to decide where to go, you know, your place or mine, only hold the phone here, there is no decision to be made, because youve got a key to my place, and I dont know if youve dropped by or what, and I dont want to chance putting either you or me in that awkward situation, so its off to her place somewhere in the East Eighties where Ive got to climb over her two roommates and three cats to do it on a foam mattress on the floor real, real quiet like because Sally my roommate has a commercial callback at nine- thirty in the morning and this whole time Im having some resentment towards you because your having a key meant that it had to be the cats and the floor and Sally the roommate asleep or nothing. I say Youre going to get a girl, buddy, just maybe not your cousin, huh? And then I give him a friendly pat on the back. This can be no trick. He tells her he cant help himself. Shakespeare in the Woods 2023 Season Why, what means this? And what did she do? It is a key ingredient to a happy and meaningful life. You know what Im saying?? You were a Brownie, you were a Bluebird, you were a Girl Scout Cookie! School school school school school. Even if we have to go with our cousin, or our gay best friend from tap class, we will have a Prom. One of the peculiar things about Hello, Dolly! Than without candle may go dark to bed, But then it dawned on me. I think. Soul mates? Yeah. I know how to open champagne with a sword. Can you believe it? Young women need the Prom. And bein a good father like encouragin your kids, givin them a tenner if theyre stuck, askin them how they are, always knowin if somethin was up, bein there for them, bein there for them always, always givin your life for them, givin your life to them fuckin hell, thats the kind of person you want to be somebody, more of those kind of people, the kind of person I want to be. Lines for Dolly in Hello, Dolly Flashcards Made me compare with Hermias sphery eyne? He cried a lot. Proud of what hes achieved. I searched high and low through that kitchen. Let me just begin by saying that there are two sides to every story. Cornelius Hackl: We have to, 'cause some rotten cans of chicken mash are going to explode. Literally. I thought this isnt it, I have to breakup. Ods my little life! Its stupid, but like Id started imaginin it, what Id be like, walkin around with a little fella holdin me hand, teachin him how to cross the road, or a little girl and holdin her up in the air the way they look down at you, theyre so amazed to be up high. Thats a pretty over-the-top version.